Balak 2023
Pride Shabbat and confronting our biases
I love animals so Parashat Balak with the speaking donkey could have been one of my favourite, if at the same time it wasn’t such a sad story.
We see a mighty king being threatened by the sight of our ancestors’ camp and choosing to address perceived threats rather than have the courage to try and make peace with the Israelites, the God’s people.
It is a very honest story about a man of God, the prophet Bilam, who does not behave in the way towards God and his donkey as one might expect of a person who fears the Eternal.
In our Parashah, Bilam resorted to physical violence when his poor donkey showed more insight and was more attuned to the Divine than him. The donkey didn’t want to follow Bilam’s command to move forward and we know that she did it for a very good reason. It was a test for Bilam and he failed it.
The honesty of the story is hopeful. The Torah does not shine away from portraying a man of God as close-minded and cruel at a time of his weakness. Well, if a man who fears God can behave in such a way how can we, ordinary humans, not allow our less favourable traits of our character to take over us during moments of weakness?
Each of us have our conscious or unconscious biases, which are negative inclination or prejudice for or against one person or group, especially in a way considered to be unfair[1].
I don’t like this person because he is Jewish, I don’t like that person because she is not Jewish.
So before we know it and if not confronted, our unconscious biases can lead to a racism and discrimination in a society.
Many young people might not be aware today that as late as 1960th there were sport clubs all over this country which did not allow Jews to be members. For today’s young people it might be difficult to imagine that the generation of their grandparents, witnessed signs outside different hotels, restaurants and clubs such as “no Blacks, no Jews, no Dogs and no Irish”.
Irish comedian Keith Farnan came across this sign a few years ago in America where he worked at a restaurant. He (Irish himself) noticed that people of African-American and Jewish origins where working in that restaurant too. No dogs though were to be seen…Clearly some of the prejudices might never die – Keith noted![2]
My break through on Radio Nottingham happened 11-12 years ago. At the time it was my first big radio panel that mattered. I was the only woman on the panel. And they didn’t invite me because of my lovely accent or being a woman for a diversity quota. They invited me because I was the only religious leader in the region at the time, which was prepared to speak publicly (well, in front of 60 000 radio audience) in favour of gay marriage.
It was a daunting experience I have to admit. The host of the programme asked me whether I am gay myself. I said no. So why – she asked – are you prepared to put your reputation at stake in the whole region by speaking in favour of this legislation? I said because more than 100 years ago other men and women stood up for me. So that today, as a woman I have equal opportunities and treated as an equal member of our society. It is because in the last 100 years ago many of my male, progressive colleagues landed their voice and support to us, female Rabbis. As a Jewish person I know how it feels to live in a society which discriminated against you not for what you have done but what you are. I can imagine how damaging it was for people to live their lives needing to hide either their ethnicity, their orientation or their religion. Living life in fear is a scary and lonely place.
So, I am going to the Pride Shabbat after our service to represent our community and myself, a white heterosexual woman, pronouns she and her and I guess being a minority there too!
I do it because it is important for us to celebrate how inclusive, non-judgmental and welcoming we are as a community. But also not to take our achievements for granted.
I will never forget “Imitation game”, the film about Alan Turing’s pioneering work at Bletchley Park and his leading role in breaking the Enigma code. Some estimate that breaking the Enigma code shortened the war by two to four years and definitely saving the lives of so many people, including my grandfather who was among soldiers of the Soviet army who ended the war in Berlin in 1945.
But the brain behind that brilliant code-breaking operation, pioneering mathematician Alan Tunning was subjected to chemical castration in order to avoid the prison sentence as he was arrested and found guilty for being a homosexual in 1952.
On 8 June 1954 he was found dead from cyanide poisoning at his home, with an inquest ruling that he died of suicide.
I wish we could say with the sense of pride that this sort of attitude towards LGBTQ+ community is in the past. To my horror, listening to the Pride D’var Torah of our member, Kevin Darvill, I found out that what is called “conversion therapy”, an emotional or physical therapy used to “cure” or repair” people from LJBTQ+ group is still legal and is offered to people, particularly from religious communities to cure their gender identity and expression. It is at the same time as the NHS, the British Psychological Society and other professional bodies have said that all kinds of conversion therapy are “unethical and potentially harmful”.[3]
It is not easy to be different and many of us, as representatives of religious and ethnic minority, understand it well. We, ourselves, may have biases as a group towards other denominations of Judaism or various religious group and as individuals.
For example, and please don’t judge me for being honest with you, I have a strong dislike and prejudice against British gefilte fish. No offence but it is not a proper gefilte fish. My mum makes real gefilte fish. I can show you some photos of it, it is an intricate skill of Jewish culinary art. I did try to devour as much British so-called gefilte fish balls but still struggle to appreciate it.
But I got to accept that minhag shel Anglia, which has some unique culinary inventions like cold fried fish for Shabbat with potato salad or cheesecake for Shavuot, is different from many other parts of Jewish world. Some of these traditions I really embraced and love and some of them I tolerate.
And the same principle applies to the people. When some other people look, speak and behave differently, don’t share our beliefs or challenge us it does not mean that they are wrong, just as it the story with the donkey and Bilam in our Torah reading today. Accepting “the Other” as philosopher Emmanuel Levinas calls and their right to be different it is a test and a at times a daily task for us all. It is particularly important in our polarised society of identity politics and impersonalised and at time bias social media.
The Talmud, in tractate Shevuot 39a says: “שכל ישראל ערבים זה בזה
” – all of Israel are responsible for each other. The rabbis say that we all are responsible for each other. It does not say that white heterosexual Ashkenazi Jews are responsible for each other, it does not say that Sefardi or Mizrahi Jews are only responsible for each other or any other group within our community.
Each of us are responsible for each and every one of us. It is because the rabbis understood that our strength is in our diversity and our ability to celebrate and utilise it. We can do it by being tolerant towards each other and challenging our biases, sometime on a daily basis. Let’s strengthen and support each other: חֲזַ֤ק חֲזַ֤ק וְנִתְחַזַּק֙– be strong, be strong let’s strengthen each other!
[1] The definition of biases is taken from Google, Oxford Dictionaries.
[2] https://www.keithfarnan.com/no-blacks-no-jews-no-dogs-no-irish-all-welcome-comedy-versus-racism/#:~:text=Whilst%20working%20in%20a%20restaurant,No%20Jews.
[3] https://www.theweek.co.uk/news/uk-news/957234/the-countries-which-have-banned-conversion-therapy
